Lately I have been able to find stability in my life. I am standing with both feet firmly on the foundation Christ has built for us and I am walking the line with courage, confidence and conviction.
The Iron Rod is a good thing to hold on to. Blessings for faith are poured out on those who exercise it. I am learning so much about myself and about the gospel and doctrines of my church. Of His church.
I have learned more about God in the last six weeks than I have in the last 22 years. I am gaining an ever-deeper appreciation for Him, the Savior, their love, the history of my people and the strength I gain from their example.
I'm grateful for the closeness I have found. I'm proud of my ancestors and their efforts to bring the truth to the world. I'm blessed with opportunities to do the same now.
I will walk by faith. I will follow His light. I am His daughter. And I'll make sure that is the first thing someone learns about me.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Dear World
Today was monumental. My family (both immediate and work family) came with me to the Gilbert Temple Open house. It was incredible.
I stressed out about it for a while. I am not ashamed of my faith, I was just concerned that they would not appreciate how sacred it is to me. Things went well. They asked questions, showed genuine interest - the whole shebang.
I was reminded of why I believe what I believe and how important it is that I have this gospel in my life. I think that on occasion I forget what a gift it is to have a strong connection to Christ. As I walked through the temple today, I really payed attention to every little detail to try and see things the way my non-member family would see them. I was reminded what it was like to be learning about it for the first time. I was surprised at how much I knew when I answered their questions.
As we walked through the Celestial room, I watched all of their demeanor's change. Not because of the stunning chandelier or the hand painted gold embroidered ceilings - it was deeper. The room has magic.
I suppose what I got from this is that the Spirit can even be felt by someone who doesn't believe in God.
I am grateful I had the opportunity to show the people that mean the most to me what the rest of my heart looks like. I got to connect with them on a deeper level.
For a majority of my life, I have been fairly emotionally detached. And becoming a member of the church has put an emphasis on family and building strong relationships with them and with God. I am glad to see the progression made in my life so far. I am glad that it isn't too late for me to tell the people I care about how I feel. I have had today and many many days in the past (and hopefully many more in the future) ti show them my love for them and today's experience has made that love even deeper.
The miracles God performs all the time are well, miraculous. But my favorite ones are the ones He performs in the hearts of men.
I am grateful for the miracles He has performed in my heart. I'm grateful for the ones He is performing in the hearts of my family. I am grateful for a temple I can go to and not only grow closer to Him but for the sacred work I can do for my family. I am grateful for times shared in growing together through Him and for His never-ending presence in my life.
I hope one day I can be with all of them for eternity. I know that the choices can be made for that to happen. It is my job to get us there.
The temple is the most incredible place this Earth has to offer. I'm so happy they could see that today.
My family has witnessed the change that has took place in my heart. They have seen light in my countenance. I await the day I will see the same light in their eyes.
Ann Dibb once said in regards to the gospel: "I know it, I live it, I love it." I hope that one day we will all have this engraved on our hearts.
I stressed out about it for a while. I am not ashamed of my faith, I was just concerned that they would not appreciate how sacred it is to me. Things went well. They asked questions, showed genuine interest - the whole shebang.
I was reminded of why I believe what I believe and how important it is that I have this gospel in my life. I think that on occasion I forget what a gift it is to have a strong connection to Christ. As I walked through the temple today, I really payed attention to every little detail to try and see things the way my non-member family would see them. I was reminded what it was like to be learning about it for the first time. I was surprised at how much I knew when I answered their questions.
As we walked through the Celestial room, I watched all of their demeanor's change. Not because of the stunning chandelier or the hand painted gold embroidered ceilings - it was deeper. The room has magic.
I suppose what I got from this is that the Spirit can even be felt by someone who doesn't believe in God.
I am grateful I had the opportunity to show the people that mean the most to me what the rest of my heart looks like. I got to connect with them on a deeper level.
For a majority of my life, I have been fairly emotionally detached. And becoming a member of the church has put an emphasis on family and building strong relationships with them and with God. I am glad to see the progression made in my life so far. I am glad that it isn't too late for me to tell the people I care about how I feel. I have had today and many many days in the past (and hopefully many more in the future) ti show them my love for them and today's experience has made that love even deeper.
The miracles God performs all the time are well, miraculous. But my favorite ones are the ones He performs in the hearts of men.
I am grateful for the miracles He has performed in my heart. I'm grateful for the ones He is performing in the hearts of my family. I am grateful for a temple I can go to and not only grow closer to Him but for the sacred work I can do for my family. I am grateful for times shared in growing together through Him and for His never-ending presence in my life.
I hope one day I can be with all of them for eternity. I know that the choices can be made for that to happen. It is my job to get us there.
The temple is the most incredible place this Earth has to offer. I'm so happy they could see that today.
My family has witnessed the change that has took place in my heart. They have seen light in my countenance. I await the day I will see the same light in their eyes.
Ann Dibb once said in regards to the gospel: "I know it, I live it, I love it." I hope that one day we will all have this engraved on our hearts.
 |
| "The temple provides purpose for our lives. It brings peace to our souls—not the peace provided by men but the peace promised by the Son of God when He said, 'Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you.'" - Thomas S. Monson |
Friday, February 7, 2014
A God Who Listens
I am learning so much every day. I am continuing on my very own path towards the light.
I have had a few financially and emotionally draining trials lately and I think I am starting to understand the lesson God wants me to learn. I am slowly getting rid of my pride. I am recognizing that I can only turn heavenward. I am realizing that I can trust God more fully.
Last Sunday was a fast and testimony meeting. I cried in front of a hundred or so 20 something year old's. Most awful experience ever. I'm probably over-exaggerating due to lack of food but whatever. Haha.
Saturday night, after picking my car up for the 5th (or is it 6th?) time from my mechanic, it broke. Again.
And I broke, too.
I cried. A lot. Mostly to God. I walked inside my house and prayed. As I was asking Him to open lines of communication and to gain some kind of spirit cell phone to communicate with me, that very same second, one of my roommates' cell phones began to ring. Crazy, right?
Anyway, I felt blessed. I think that because of where I came from, it's been hard to trust people in general and when I do (as anyone else) it takes time to build. I am sometimes frustrated with my lack of trust toward God and that I continue to make Him work for it and build it up.
But that doesn't stop Him from doing it.
I have been looking at life a layer deeper lately. I am no philosopher but I am definitely seeing what more I can do to prepare, learn from and apply the various lessons, experiences and trials I am experiencing.
Consider Isaac for a moment. Abraham's son who is supposed to be sacrificed on the alter. This guy is 38 years old, has a 137 year old father, and is asked to hike a mountain to offer sacrifices for God (back in the time of Moses' law). At the top, his dad turns to him and informs him that HE is the sacrifice.
What does he do? Run? Get angry? Say "I love you, Dad but I can't do this"??
No. He hands him rope from the bundle of wood they carried up and instructs his father to bind him just in case he changes his mind half way through.
That requires faith if I have ever seen it. I am blown away by this scriptural story. God blesses them both for their faith and tells Abraham to not sacrifice Isaac.
Now comes the application. What things go on in my life that I really don't want to do? How many sacrifices do I make through faith? Are they really sacrifices? What instances have I followed God's will and have been blessed?
I think of many occasions filled with blessings from sacrifices. I think of more occasions when I was thinking "I love you, Dad but I can't do this." I feel like I need to work towards being more open to the things God asks me to do.
I recognize now that they aren't sacrifices but opportunities to grow. And maybe my perspective is off 98% of the time. Who knows. But I am learning.
So the journey continues. And maybe I'm going to have less "I love you, Dad but I can't do this" moments and more moments saying, "I love you, Dad and I can do this because of the strength I find in you."
I have had a few financially and emotionally draining trials lately and I think I am starting to understand the lesson God wants me to learn. I am slowly getting rid of my pride. I am recognizing that I can only turn heavenward. I am realizing that I can trust God more fully.
Last Sunday was a fast and testimony meeting. I cried in front of a hundred or so 20 something year old's. Most awful experience ever. I'm probably over-exaggerating due to lack of food but whatever. Haha.
Saturday night, after picking my car up for the 5th (or is it 6th?) time from my mechanic, it broke. Again.
And I broke, too.
I cried. A lot. Mostly to God. I walked inside my house and prayed. As I was asking Him to open lines of communication and to gain some kind of spirit cell phone to communicate with me, that very same second, one of my roommates' cell phones began to ring. Crazy, right?
Anyway, I felt blessed. I think that because of where I came from, it's been hard to trust people in general and when I do (as anyone else) it takes time to build. I am sometimes frustrated with my lack of trust toward God and that I continue to make Him work for it and build it up.
But that doesn't stop Him from doing it.
I have been looking at life a layer deeper lately. I am no philosopher but I am definitely seeing what more I can do to prepare, learn from and apply the various lessons, experiences and trials I am experiencing.
Consider Isaac for a moment. Abraham's son who is supposed to be sacrificed on the alter. This guy is 38 years old, has a 137 year old father, and is asked to hike a mountain to offer sacrifices for God (back in the time of Moses' law). At the top, his dad turns to him and informs him that HE is the sacrifice.
What does he do? Run? Get angry? Say "I love you, Dad but I can't do this"??
No. He hands him rope from the bundle of wood they carried up and instructs his father to bind him just in case he changes his mind half way through.
That requires faith if I have ever seen it. I am blown away by this scriptural story. God blesses them both for their faith and tells Abraham to not sacrifice Isaac.
Now comes the application. What things go on in my life that I really don't want to do? How many sacrifices do I make through faith? Are they really sacrifices? What instances have I followed God's will and have been blessed?
I think of many occasions filled with blessings from sacrifices. I think of more occasions when I was thinking "I love you, Dad but I can't do this." I feel like I need to work towards being more open to the things God asks me to do.
I recognize now that they aren't sacrifices but opportunities to grow. And maybe my perspective is off 98% of the time. Who knows. But I am learning.
So the journey continues. And maybe I'm going to have less "I love you, Dad but I can't do this" moments and more moments saying, "I love you, Dad and I can do this because of the strength I find in you."
Friday, January 24, 2014
Divine Intervention
After months of struggling with my faith and everything else, things began looking up. I went to the Gilbert Temple open house on my 18 month mark as a member of the Church and felt the Spirit the strongest I have in a while. Church the previous Sunday was fantastic. I went to two sacrament meetings that were designed with me in mind (well, not really but Heavenly Father has His ways) and my institute classes (I'm taking 5 of them) have been really beneficial. I decided I wanted to further my scriptural knowledge since I have only been expanding the subject areas I learned in the first few months of being LDS and grew hungry for more.
I found myself in a Pearl of Great Price class learning some pretty interesting things. I wasn't sure how to handle it and began doubting my faith instead of my doubts. (Reference Uchtdorf's October 2013 General Conference talk titled "Come, join with us.") In his talk he highlights some sweet invitations. He says: "If you have left the faith you once embraced: Come back again. Join with us. If you are tempted to give up: Stay yet a little longer. There is room for you here. I plead with all who hear or read these words: Come, join with us."
I can picture his German accent as I reflect this talk.
I have this cardboard box theory. God doesn't live in cardboard boxes. Or is it boxen? (Brian Regan makes me laugh..) Anyway. Light doesn't get into a closed lidded box. Simply put. And for a while, I lived in a box.
Yeah, that was me. Crazy box lady.
Check it out.. One fateful day, some Mormon missionaries cut a hole in my box. And they let in light. They explained to me that this phenomena was called God. And it was good. A while after my initial shock had worn off, I agreed to have more holes cut into my box, letting in more and more light. Eventually I decided to step out of my box and I recognized that there was light all around me. Lots of it. And it turns out it had always been there. I was just too preoccupied in my box, nice and dark and cold.
For a while, I stood around outside of my box, not letting it out of my sight. Then I progressed. And went a bit further away. Before I knew it, I was a mile away dancing in the sunshine (figuratively speaking) with my box nowhere in sight.
Some time passed and things got hard. They got uncomfortable. My faith got tested as did my convictions. My dark box seemed cozier than all the exposure that came with living in light.
I walked back to my box and opened the lid. The adversary was happy to see me. My doubts came. The heartache returned. That absence of warmth. It's was an unsettling familiarity. But I stayed anyway.
I sought out help, after the unsettled feelings changed to comfort from familiarity. And I made the decision that I wanted that light again. So I opened my lid and let that light back in. The adversary didn't like this move so much.
When I was in this class, learning about the Pearl of Great Price, there were things I didn't understand. Stuff I still don't understand. But my forever foe decided he would blow the wind over my cardboard box lid and fill me with doubt again.
I was really tested. Thankfully, God placed protection in the form of friends and institute instructors. He prepared them for my questions. And I was prompted to pray. I couldn't get the words out. I tried for a while and to no avail, I was discouraged. My best friend/roommate, Kariann, prayed with me. We prayed for faith, strength and courage.
Two minutes later, missionaries knocked on my door. Can you say Divine Intervention?!
God reached out. Dramatically. When I needed it most. The elders helped me. Really related to me. Shared messages, inspiring thoughts and challenges. They picked my fragile spirit up and took it out of that box as we waved Satan farewell.
I am grateful that our Father knows us so intimately. My faith was restored and strengthened. My testimony grew. I was able to recognize what was going on, and gain the courage to look forward with faith.
I hope that one day, my cardboard box will be forever out of my picture. But something one of the missionaries said to me really stuck with me. While we focused on blessings, gratitude and the plan of salvation, we talked a bit about what God does for us.
Whilst making a comment about the difference of lifestyle between being a member and not (since he is a convert as well) he said: "While I feel like I was happy sometimes without the gospel in my life, I came to realize that it isn't happiness we yearn for; it's peace."
John 14:27 says: Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
I feel that peace. I know the contrast it brings. I'm happy in the light. I'm grateful God is here for us all the time. I honestly don't know what I would do without the influence of Him, the Savior and Holy Ghost in my life.
I am forever His. And I will do my best to not forget that.
I found myself in a Pearl of Great Price class learning some pretty interesting things. I wasn't sure how to handle it and began doubting my faith instead of my doubts. (Reference Uchtdorf's October 2013 General Conference talk titled "Come, join with us.") In his talk he highlights some sweet invitations. He says: "If you have left the faith you once embraced: Come back again. Join with us. If you are tempted to give up: Stay yet a little longer. There is room for you here. I plead with all who hear or read these words: Come, join with us."
I can picture his German accent as I reflect this talk.
I have this cardboard box theory. God doesn't live in cardboard boxes. Or is it boxen? (Brian Regan makes me laugh..) Anyway. Light doesn't get into a closed lidded box. Simply put. And for a while, I lived in a box.
Yeah, that was me. Crazy box lady.
Check it out.. One fateful day, some Mormon missionaries cut a hole in my box. And they let in light. They explained to me that this phenomena was called God. And it was good. A while after my initial shock had worn off, I agreed to have more holes cut into my box, letting in more and more light. Eventually I decided to step out of my box and I recognized that there was light all around me. Lots of it. And it turns out it had always been there. I was just too preoccupied in my box, nice and dark and cold.
For a while, I stood around outside of my box, not letting it out of my sight. Then I progressed. And went a bit further away. Before I knew it, I was a mile away dancing in the sunshine (figuratively speaking) with my box nowhere in sight.
Some time passed and things got hard. They got uncomfortable. My faith got tested as did my convictions. My dark box seemed cozier than all the exposure that came with living in light.
I walked back to my box and opened the lid. The adversary was happy to see me. My doubts came. The heartache returned. That absence of warmth. It's was an unsettling familiarity. But I stayed anyway.
I sought out help, after the unsettled feelings changed to comfort from familiarity. And I made the decision that I wanted that light again. So I opened my lid and let that light back in. The adversary didn't like this move so much.
When I was in this class, learning about the Pearl of Great Price, there were things I didn't understand. Stuff I still don't understand. But my forever foe decided he would blow the wind over my cardboard box lid and fill me with doubt again.
I was really tested. Thankfully, God placed protection in the form of friends and institute instructors. He prepared them for my questions. And I was prompted to pray. I couldn't get the words out. I tried for a while and to no avail, I was discouraged. My best friend/roommate, Kariann, prayed with me. We prayed for faith, strength and courage.
Two minutes later, missionaries knocked on my door. Can you say Divine Intervention?!
God reached out. Dramatically. When I needed it most. The elders helped me. Really related to me. Shared messages, inspiring thoughts and challenges. They picked my fragile spirit up and took it out of that box as we waved Satan farewell.
I am grateful that our Father knows us so intimately. My faith was restored and strengthened. My testimony grew. I was able to recognize what was going on, and gain the courage to look forward with faith.
I hope that one day, my cardboard box will be forever out of my picture. But something one of the missionaries said to me really stuck with me. While we focused on blessings, gratitude and the plan of salvation, we talked a bit about what God does for us.
Whilst making a comment about the difference of lifestyle between being a member and not (since he is a convert as well) he said: "While I feel like I was happy sometimes without the gospel in my life, I came to realize that it isn't happiness we yearn for; it's peace."
John 14:27 says: Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
I feel that peace. I know the contrast it brings. I'm happy in the light. I'm grateful God is here for us all the time. I honestly don't know what I would do without the influence of Him, the Savior and Holy Ghost in my life.
I am forever His. And I will do my best to not forget that.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Standing on a rock looking up
That light at the end of the tunnel wasn't a train after all.
I have somehow managed to begin putting one foot in front of the other again on my journey back to my Heavenly Father. It has taken a while, but I'm grateful I remembered how. Today I bore my testimony to an old friend. I forgot what that was like. It was such a neat feeling to genuinely feel what I was saying when I was saying it. My heart was 100% connected.
I think that having opportunities like this one has been unique. I don't like trials. They suck. A lot. And I have had quite a few of them in pretty quick succession recently and I haven't been handling it the best. And this week I have been given a renewed perspective.
I know what I need to do to get back and I am finally motivated to do it. God has my back. He always has. For all of us. I'm just.. happy.
I'm taking three institute classes this semester. I need it right now. I am so grateful for the ability to go. I learn so much. I feel like having these classes throughout the week is going to give me the armor I wasn't strong enough to put on. It's incredible the difference it makes.
This week I am going to walk through the Gilbert Temple. All of it. It is a big deal for me. I think that Gods timing is immaculate. Last weekend was the first Arizona Young Single Adult Conference, this week institute started back up and the temple open houses begin. I am receiving help from the heavens like it were plastered on a billboard.
God is good. I missed Him. So much. So so much. And I'm happy I found my way back on this path.
I have somehow managed to begin putting one foot in front of the other again on my journey back to my Heavenly Father. It has taken a while, but I'm grateful I remembered how. Today I bore my testimony to an old friend. I forgot what that was like. It was such a neat feeling to genuinely feel what I was saying when I was saying it. My heart was 100% connected.
I think that having opportunities like this one has been unique. I don't like trials. They suck. A lot. And I have had quite a few of them in pretty quick succession recently and I haven't been handling it the best. And this week I have been given a renewed perspective.
I know what I need to do to get back and I am finally motivated to do it. God has my back. He always has. For all of us. I'm just.. happy.
I'm taking three institute classes this semester. I need it right now. I am so grateful for the ability to go. I learn so much. I feel like having these classes throughout the week is going to give me the armor I wasn't strong enough to put on. It's incredible the difference it makes.
This week I am going to walk through the Gilbert Temple. All of it. It is a big deal for me. I think that Gods timing is immaculate. Last weekend was the first Arizona Young Single Adult Conference, this week institute started back up and the temple open houses begin. I am receiving help from the heavens like it were plastered on a billboard.
God is good. I missed Him. So much. So so much. And I'm happy I found my way back on this path.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Oftentimes wrong.
Over these last few months I have had a hardened heart.
I was struggling with my faith, my convictions, my everything. I grew tired of always striving to be better. I was tired of pushing my way through the things of the world. Tired of always seeking God and feeling like it was not the other way around.
I was wrong.
I buried my weapons of war against the adversary and replaced them with weapons of rebellion, pride and stubbornness towards my Savior. I decided I could handle things without God's influence for a while. I had done it before. My whole life, so I thought.
I was wrong about that, too.
Lot's of pain comes with these things. Being wrong sucks. Having to stand on my own two feet all the time sucks. And thinking that your God turned His back on you sucks.
I'm glad I'm wrong.
God doesn't turn His back. Ever. Which is great. Because we need Him. Pretty much all the time. Forever. And the Savior loves us. So much. We are not alone. Nor will we ever be.
I have had to rely on my testimony to get me through some tough things lately. My testimony of prayer has been tested. Of the plan of salvation. Of reading scripture. Of prophets and their council. All of it. I have been tested. A lot. I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I do appreciate it (if that makes sense.) I'm growing. And I get the term "growing pains" a lot better now.
My Bishop is wonderful. He is an inspired man. Truly a submissive servant to his Father. He has helped me see things a bit clearer when I cant. I'm grateful for him.
Recently, one of my very best friends committed suicide. He used his agency to end his life, in hopes of meeting his Maker. This has brought me so much pain. My heart is broken for the loss, for his family, for his friends - all of it. My testimony has pulled me through this.
In October of 2013's general conference, Thomas S. Monson gave a talk about something very similar. His wife had passed away a few short months prior to his talk and he expressed his deep gratitude, sadness and appreciation for his testimony. The strength he was able to gain from that has helped me find mine.
I feel like sometimes I miss the forest because I'm too busy analyzing the trees. I'm upset when one tree falls or has lost its leaves when there are so many other trees around to admire. I forget that God is in control. I doubt Him more often than I should. Everything really does happen for a reason. And I get that. I just wish I didn't have to keep re-learning this very lesson.
I have new perspective. Again. Even though tomorrow is not guaranteed, today is here. And God is the same yesterday as He is today and forever. I just need to trust Him. And recognize that I'm wrong. A lot. And that sometimes.. He knows what He is doing. And by sometimes, I mean every time. I'm grateful for His presence in my life. I'm grateful that He hasn't left my side. I'm grateful that even when I am being stubborn and full of pride, He softens my heart just enough for me to recognize that I need to put those weapons down and pick my other ones back up. I am a warrior. I am strong. I am enough. I am a daughter of a King. And I am okay.
I am healed because He was broken. I am whole because He loved me first. Always.
I was struggling with my faith, my convictions, my everything. I grew tired of always striving to be better. I was tired of pushing my way through the things of the world. Tired of always seeking God and feeling like it was not the other way around.
I was wrong.
I buried my weapons of war against the adversary and replaced them with weapons of rebellion, pride and stubbornness towards my Savior. I decided I could handle things without God's influence for a while. I had done it before. My whole life, so I thought.
I was wrong about that, too.
Lot's of pain comes with these things. Being wrong sucks. Having to stand on my own two feet all the time sucks. And thinking that your God turned His back on you sucks.
I'm glad I'm wrong.
God doesn't turn His back. Ever. Which is great. Because we need Him. Pretty much all the time. Forever. And the Savior loves us. So much. We are not alone. Nor will we ever be.
I have had to rely on my testimony to get me through some tough things lately. My testimony of prayer has been tested. Of the plan of salvation. Of reading scripture. Of prophets and their council. All of it. I have been tested. A lot. I don't necessarily enjoy it, but I do appreciate it (if that makes sense.) I'm growing. And I get the term "growing pains" a lot better now.
My Bishop is wonderful. He is an inspired man. Truly a submissive servant to his Father. He has helped me see things a bit clearer when I cant. I'm grateful for him.
Recently, one of my very best friends committed suicide. He used his agency to end his life, in hopes of meeting his Maker. This has brought me so much pain. My heart is broken for the loss, for his family, for his friends - all of it. My testimony has pulled me through this.
In October of 2013's general conference, Thomas S. Monson gave a talk about something very similar. His wife had passed away a few short months prior to his talk and he expressed his deep gratitude, sadness and appreciation for his testimony. The strength he was able to gain from that has helped me find mine.
I feel like sometimes I miss the forest because I'm too busy analyzing the trees. I'm upset when one tree falls or has lost its leaves when there are so many other trees around to admire. I forget that God is in control. I doubt Him more often than I should. Everything really does happen for a reason. And I get that. I just wish I didn't have to keep re-learning this very lesson.
I have new perspective. Again. Even though tomorrow is not guaranteed, today is here. And God is the same yesterday as He is today and forever. I just need to trust Him. And recognize that I'm wrong. A lot. And that sometimes.. He knows what He is doing. And by sometimes, I mean every time. I'm grateful for His presence in my life. I'm grateful that He hasn't left my side. I'm grateful that even when I am being stubborn and full of pride, He softens my heart just enough for me to recognize that I need to put those weapons down and pick my other ones back up. I am a warrior. I am strong. I am enough. I am a daughter of a King. And I am okay.
I am healed because He was broken. I am whole because He loved me first. Always.
Friday, December 13, 2013
Grattitude
I'm grateful for friendships. And God. And good smelling candles. And Christmas. I've been a total Grinch this year. But I went to an ugly sweater event tonight. And though my sweater was itchy and over-sized, it was the first time I have felt Christmas Spirit all month.
Things never work out the way we want them to. I want things in my life that would make it easier. Like a car that is not broken. And I would like to make more money at my job so I can make pot roast and not feel like the economic inflation is eating away the contents of my wallet and my soul. And I would like for people to be more pleasant. And for the world to be peaceful and stuff.
Outside of those things, I feel gratitude. I have a bed. With pillows and sheets and blankets that keep me warm when I complain that my roommates are too cheap to turn the heat on in my house. I'm grateful for all of the ugly. And all of the bad. And the sick. And the broken. Because without all of that, I wouldn't appreciate the good I have. I wouldn't appreciate clean, running water or fresh fruit or gasoline. I have a lot of things in my life that I take for granted. Like light switches. And it's good to be reminded of how ungrateful I am throughout the year. Christmas does this to me.
God provides for His children. All the time. And even though I don't always appreciate it, I'm grateful for the moments when I do appreciate His gifts.
I feel like a lot of times I find myself complaining that things aren't perfect. That if only something were more or less or different. I have so many blessings that I overlook because of my what-ifs, my if-only's and my not-enough's. Today I'm hoping to change this outlook.
Someone told me recently that Advent is a time for change. A time to clean out all of the clutter and make room for Christ's joy. I think I'm going to try this.
I'm grateful for the gospel in my life. And for Heavenly Fathers continuous presence even when I don't seek Him out. He is here for me. And for you too. And I think that is really rad.
So, today - I'm grateful. And that's all I felt like sharing. :)
Things never work out the way we want them to. I want things in my life that would make it easier. Like a car that is not broken. And I would like to make more money at my job so I can make pot roast and not feel like the economic inflation is eating away the contents of my wallet and my soul. And I would like for people to be more pleasant. And for the world to be peaceful and stuff.
Outside of those things, I feel gratitude. I have a bed. With pillows and sheets and blankets that keep me warm when I complain that my roommates are too cheap to turn the heat on in my house. I'm grateful for all of the ugly. And all of the bad. And the sick. And the broken. Because without all of that, I wouldn't appreciate the good I have. I wouldn't appreciate clean, running water or fresh fruit or gasoline. I have a lot of things in my life that I take for granted. Like light switches. And it's good to be reminded of how ungrateful I am throughout the year. Christmas does this to me.
God provides for His children. All the time. And even though I don't always appreciate it, I'm grateful for the moments when I do appreciate His gifts.
I feel like a lot of times I find myself complaining that things aren't perfect. That if only something were more or less or different. I have so many blessings that I overlook because of my what-ifs, my if-only's and my not-enough's. Today I'm hoping to change this outlook.
Someone told me recently that Advent is a time for change. A time to clean out all of the clutter and make room for Christ's joy. I think I'm going to try this.
I'm grateful for the gospel in my life. And for Heavenly Fathers continuous presence even when I don't seek Him out. He is here for me. And for you too. And I think that is really rad.
So, today - I'm grateful. And that's all I felt like sharing. :)
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